Who would I have?

I hate time, there's never enough of it. I want to write, but what would there be to write about if all I did was write. I want to be a protegee, (I wish I could spell... I wish my head was Google) but my brain drives me crazy. I want to be engulfed in society, but silently. I wish I had the patients to tone. It's all about per-portions?? I've accomplished so much, but there's so much more I want to do! I've changed so many lives already. I'm over whelmed, with boardum.
I wanted to leave more than anything! Now that that's almost a reality, I'm scared no terrified. I've given so much here, why not just stay? I have unfinished work, so much more to give. But what am I leaving untouched out there?
I don't understand me, that's why I have you. What would I do if you weren't here, it's been to long to know any more. You can't leave now, we're just getting back to the start, buy adding on more. It's whats best for you, and I; growing up. It sucks, promise me we wont grow apart? Lets make the most of what we still have. 'In the end it'll all work out' after watching Across the universe that statement... I stormed out enraged.
Such a good movie Hannah and I watched the other night. We were the only two in the theater. Remember me, it made me cry. But it had the most amazing message, just perfect for my life right now: Whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But is is very important that you do it. Thank you Gondi!
I've done this before, some one always fills thoes shoes. That's why I have my statment:"... 100 lovers, one you". People have so much to teach you. I think it's about time for a prayer... I haven't said one on a long long time. I always pray in my heart, but I think I've prayed with my heart about twice in my hole life. I think I'm going to start a new blogg, one where I can daily post my life. That might be a mess... maybe I'll just leave out the thought, yes that's it only events.