Perfectly wrong.

My dying breath, with every living memory.

I can't see what's right,

I'm to week, to human, to crazy, to do it alone.

and what is wrong- 

I feel as if I'm running again.

you used to show me.

Was it all in my head, is it still...


With every dying memory, I breath.

I don't see your wrongs,

I initiate, instigate, illuminate, am to independent.

and why I'm not right-

I feel fulfillment.

Let's stand down.

This so long has be come to short, rather fast I fear...

Dear God if there's hope left for me in this world, chain me to it.

Platter of deflection

Blended in lost words, and miss used feelings. Glassed in the memories of past blossoms, savored in scared wounds. Chilled for ignorance & blame. Served with bitterness. Rosted offense, baked for disaster. My stumic is turning, Rocking in turmoil.

I can't take it any more-

Stop, please stop.
Irrational.
Irreplaceable.
Impatient.

wrist are cuffed

How am I feeling?
Like I was up till 6 am crying so hard, I wanted to puke. Like people say there's nothing wrong, but I definitely need 'help'. Like human beings throwing blame out, as if it was candy in a parade. Like I need to know you have forgiven me for the person I was to you, even that is so hard.

Like my wrist are cuffed and I'm still running from the dog.

Pretty sure, I've never felt so alone in my entire life. Definitely like, I've been listening to every one elts my entire life- I listened, I did, and became a zombie. So I'm pretty sure that I'm done listening, because that cost me my dreams. I've never been so sure that I admitted to your accusations, but you're not going to do anything to help me make the change, and like you're one to point a finger.

Thanks a hep, I don't give a shit.
So basically, I feel like it's best if I went away. Far away.
And I will, and I am.

This week in general has just been every reason to smile, and I don't even know why. It feels like everything's come together, or at least closer than is has been for a while. 



There's lost still that I have to do, but with all these done it feel so real to dream again. I've missed that, and I'm so happy it's back. It's much easier to miss everything you had, when you're en-wrapped with the dreams of the future. Less of a bitter tastes, they become more like seasonings. 

So that is that, and I'm off to live more

Open eyes

Hard to keep my eyes open,
"I'll know what I'm looking for, when I find it."
Couple blocks down... then a sate,
"have we really come so far? It's kind of nice."
Christmas comes once a year,
"you are so very generous."

There is:
Smiles.
Hugs.
Heath.
Happiness.
Patience.
achievements.

~Understanding